Depression confession...

Hi all!  Whew, it's been a while!  I have a big confession today... I suffer from mild depression.  There, I said it.  It's a scary thing to say "out loud"... or in this instance to see in black and white.  It's such a frustrating thing to deal with because I feel terribly guilty about the way I feel.  I mean, lets look at the list of my life... Awesome job?  Check.  Amazing boyfriend?  Check.  Loving stable family?  Check.  Enough money to meet basic needs?  Check.  So why am I sad so much of the time?  After missing work 3 days this week {don't even get me started on how scared I am about losing my finally found dream job} I went to the doctor yesterday to lay it all out on the table.  I have to tell you, this is one of the scariest things I have dealt with because I just don't know why I feel this way.  Today is my first day at work this week... have any of you ever felt like you just couldn't even get out of bed to face the day?  That's how I felt all week, and even still today, but I pushed through it today and here I am... I have to tell you though, now that I am up and at em, I feel better than I have all week.  I still don't feel great, and I still don't feel like me, but better is better. :o)  I started new meds yesterday and am hoping that makes a difference.  I just want to feel like the happy person everyone sees on the outside.  Does that make sense?  Has anyone else ever felt this way?  I know I'm not alone... I can't be, right?  So today I made it to work... I'm calling that an accomplishment... and I haven't cried all day, definitely an accomplishment.  I hope if any of you are feeling this way you are seeking help like I am.  It's a scarry thing to deal with, but there are things you can do... I'm doing them and I'm taking it one day at a time.